I am once again going to attempt the NANOWRIMO challange and force myselft to at least get further than the 50 words I managed to squeez out of my self last year. So far I am already to a better start, I have 600 words and it is only the 3rd of the month. Granted what I have written so far is more of a journal entry than the begining of a story but I figure if I can even get my self to write 50,000 words of streaming concousness in one month that would be better than the pathetic 50 words of nothing I wrote last year. I didn't actually sign up this year at the nanowrimo website, I am doing this on my own this time. Of course no one will ever get to read what I write this November and it will most likley be a heaping pile of nothing but non the less I will have written 50,000 words in one month and that I believe is more than I have written in the last two years.
So wish me luck internet.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Paragraph Eight
I think I should cut my hair, dye it black and then buy a bus ticket to middle-of-no-where-America and get a job as a farm hand or a factory worker. I should rent a room in someone’s basement and start reading obscure novels about pioneers. Maybe I could learn to compost and eat nothing but organic and whole wheat, drink only water and locally brewed beer, maybe some California wine as well. I would have no stove, just a hotplate and I would stop watching television of course, I would wear long skirts made of hemp and cotton and burn all of my bras. I would write a paper on how bras are a constriction of my freedom and man’s modern way to suppress women. I could start buying only American made products and learn to shoot a gun, drive a pick up, no a scooter that runs on vegetable oil and scorn everyone I find for their carbon foot print. I would meet a woman and be confused about my feelings for her and then move on once she got to know me too well. Find some other basement apartment or one in an attack and change my name to something like Lauraleen. I would write home of course, but never call.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Paragraph Seven
I finished reading Paper Towns by John Green last night. The book is brilliant. I had my doubts but this particular "vlog brother" reminded me of what it is to live, to love and to be a friend all in two short days through a teen fiction novel. I find it kind of funny that while a teen myself I read and re-read classic literature and my favorite author was Boccaccio but here I am in the latter half of my twenties reading one "young adult" novel after another.
Paper Towns exposes the sticky sweet melodrama of the teenage years in suburbia just as well as Stephen Chbosky’s Perks of Being a Wallflower did in 1999, though Quentin tells his story through the search of a childhood crush who has gone missing rather than by writing letters to an anonymous reader as Charlie did. Quentin’s last month of his senior year is the kind of month that interrupts your life and changes everything, he misses his graduation (at which he and his two friends had decided to go naked under their gowns) to hunt down a girl who had gone missing a month earlier and had until graduation day largely been assumed dead. The story however is not so much in the search for Margo but in the discovery of Quentin, Radar, Ben and Lacey who Margo had abruptly left behind in their McMansion filled Orlando suburb.
Green capably expresses the anxiety and the excitement of love and growing up with the aid of Walt Whitman’s Song of Myself and manages to make (at least in my case) the reader long for the discovery of new life and the thrill of coming adulthood. The book was difficult to put down and the emotions stirred were impossible to ignore. Paper Towns has all the wit of Sarah Vowel with out the history and the friendships are the kind of friendships a person can’t just make up. Reading this book made me want to go on a road trip, rediscover myself and reconnect with old friends rarely spoken to but hardly forgotten. I laughed out loud, cried a little and gasped with shock multiple times while reading about Quentin’s obsession with finding Margo and his antics with the kind of friends that become a sort of family. I am glad to say that I did not read this book in public, my reaction to the pages in Paper Towns most likely would have been quite embarrassing. There is no question what so ever about if I will read Greens two previous novels An Abundance of Kathrin’s and Looking for Alaska, both are already on reserve at the library.
http://www.sparksflyup.com/
Paper Towns exposes the sticky sweet melodrama of the teenage years in suburbia just as well as Stephen Chbosky’s Perks of Being a Wallflower did in 1999, though Quentin tells his story through the search of a childhood crush who has gone missing rather than by writing letters to an anonymous reader as Charlie did. Quentin’s last month of his senior year is the kind of month that interrupts your life and changes everything, he misses his graduation (at which he and his two friends had decided to go naked under their gowns) to hunt down a girl who had gone missing a month earlier and had until graduation day largely been assumed dead. The story however is not so much in the search for Margo but in the discovery of Quentin, Radar, Ben and Lacey who Margo had abruptly left behind in their McMansion filled Orlando suburb.
Green capably expresses the anxiety and the excitement of love and growing up with the aid of Walt Whitman’s Song of Myself and manages to make (at least in my case) the reader long for the discovery of new life and the thrill of coming adulthood. The book was difficult to put down and the emotions stirred were impossible to ignore. Paper Towns has all the wit of Sarah Vowel with out the history and the friendships are the kind of friendships a person can’t just make up. Reading this book made me want to go on a road trip, rediscover myself and reconnect with old friends rarely spoken to but hardly forgotten. I laughed out loud, cried a little and gasped with shock multiple times while reading about Quentin’s obsession with finding Margo and his antics with the kind of friends that become a sort of family. I am glad to say that I did not read this book in public, my reaction to the pages in Paper Towns most likely would have been quite embarrassing. There is no question what so ever about if I will read Greens two previous novels An Abundance of Kathrin’s and Looking for Alaska, both are already on reserve at the library.
http://www.sparksflyup.com/
Friday, October 2, 2009
Paragraph Six
I haven't been sleeping, you can see it under my eyes.
My muscles ache and my head feels heavy - I haven't been sleeping.
My employement feels like a high stakes competition. I am a temp and entirely replaceable.
I feel anxious all the time. My stomache wads its self up into little balls of digestive fluids and threatens to push my breakfast back onto my desk every morning.
I paid rent today, I have one dollar left in my bank account until I am paid again.
I haven't been sleeping and you can see it underneath my eyes.
My muscles ache and my head feels heavy - I haven't been sleeping.
My employement feels like a high stakes competition. I am a temp and entirely replaceable.
I feel anxious all the time. My stomache wads its self up into little balls of digestive fluids and threatens to push my breakfast back onto my desk every morning.
I paid rent today, I have one dollar left in my bank account until I am paid again.
I haven't been sleeping and you can see it underneath my eyes.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Paragraph Five
I have been home for the same amount of time I lived in The City.
I worked for one company in NYC, lived in one apartment, with just one roommate, had only one phone the entire time, slept in the same bed and took the same train to work everyday. Since coming back to Texas I have had three jobs, I now live in my second residence, I traded two familial roommates for one romantic one (and a dog) I have bought, lost and re-purchased an iPhone, slept in two different beds (neither of which have belonged to me) and taken a multitude of paths to and from work.
Life is slower here, though somehow more varied. Calmer here, yet disturbingly stressful at times. I do not love this city, I do not even claim my town to be a city but it is rare that I hate this place. In many ways I have fallen back to who I was before the move, in more ways I have continued to grow. I am happy in my little apartment, with my little dog and my temp job. I am comfortable surrounded by familiar streets and friends I have held onto from childhood. I have no problems going to the same 'ol bar with the same 'ol people on the weekends, but. But, I miss the disparity of the city. That desperate need to find your place in the crowd. I miss that sense of urgency that comes with every transfer on the subway, the fear on the first of the month (ok I don't miss the rent so much), the intensity of actually running into someone you know by chance on the street. I miss the parks and the museums, the strangers and the food.
I don't miss the financial disaster that was my life in the east. I definately don't miss the lack of space and closets of my apartment on the upper west side, I certanly do not miss the bums always asking for change and cigarretts (though they did have a kind of charm). I do miss the city though, and sometimes I even miss my life there when I forget that this one is so much easier. Manhattan was a raw emotion, an hormonal rage, a heart attack and foot pain. Texas is slow paces and good friends, lazy sundays, tacos and stability. I love and hate them both. And no matter which one I reside in I wish it were the other. Like a pre-teen I miss the drama, as an adult I am greatfull for the comforts of home.
"For all the things I know, there are even more I don't."
I worked for one company in NYC, lived in one apartment, with just one roommate, had only one phone the entire time, slept in the same bed and took the same train to work everyday. Since coming back to Texas I have had three jobs, I now live in my second residence, I traded two familial roommates for one romantic one (and a dog) I have bought, lost and re-purchased an iPhone, slept in two different beds (neither of which have belonged to me) and taken a multitude of paths to and from work.
Life is slower here, though somehow more varied. Calmer here, yet disturbingly stressful at times. I do not love this city, I do not even claim my town to be a city but it is rare that I hate this place. In many ways I have fallen back to who I was before the move, in more ways I have continued to grow. I am happy in my little apartment, with my little dog and my temp job. I am comfortable surrounded by familiar streets and friends I have held onto from childhood. I have no problems going to the same 'ol bar with the same 'ol people on the weekends, but. But, I miss the disparity of the city. That desperate need to find your place in the crowd. I miss that sense of urgency that comes with every transfer on the subway, the fear on the first of the month (ok I don't miss the rent so much), the intensity of actually running into someone you know by chance on the street. I miss the parks and the museums, the strangers and the food.
I don't miss the financial disaster that was my life in the east. I definately don't miss the lack of space and closets of my apartment on the upper west side, I certanly do not miss the bums always asking for change and cigarretts (though they did have a kind of charm). I do miss the city though, and sometimes I even miss my life there when I forget that this one is so much easier. Manhattan was a raw emotion, an hormonal rage, a heart attack and foot pain. Texas is slow paces and good friends, lazy sundays, tacos and stability. I love and hate them both. And no matter which one I reside in I wish it were the other. Like a pre-teen I miss the drama, as an adult I am greatfull for the comforts of home.
"For all the things I know, there are even more I don't."
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Paragraph Four
I woke up this morning to an empty left side of the bed. I assumed he was on the couch, he was not. I am sure that he had a few beers at Stephens and just crashed there, I am sure that they just stayed up entirely to late playing x-box, I am sure that all he did last night was kill vertual zombies with his guard buddy, I am sure.
But my mind still wanders and I remember that he was tired already when he left the house, that he has a habit of texting while driving...that Stephen's fiance is mad at Kevin and I don't know her well enough to be sure that she wouldn't poisin his soda, that he could be hurt.
The place that my thoughts do not go is the obviouse place. That he may have misled me, that there is someone else. There is enough trust between the two of us that not until I actually typed it out..."He never came home last night" did I think of the common reaction to the situation.
I wish he would have text, or left a voice mail, or updated his status on Facebook or something just so that I would know that he is ok. I am sure that he is. Ok. I just can't keep my imagination in check of him lying in a hospital bed from dozing off at the wheel and driving over the curb and thru someone's living room then flipping the truck over their abnormaly large sofa.
Good God. Kevin. Text me damnit!
But my mind still wanders and I remember that he was tired already when he left the house, that he has a habit of texting while driving...that Stephen's fiance is mad at Kevin and I don't know her well enough to be sure that she wouldn't poisin his soda, that he could be hurt.
The place that my thoughts do not go is the obviouse place. That he may have misled me, that there is someone else. There is enough trust between the two of us that not until I actually typed it out..."He never came home last night" did I think of the common reaction to the situation.
I wish he would have text, or left a voice mail, or updated his status on Facebook or something just so that I would know that he is ok. I am sure that he is. Ok. I just can't keep my imagination in check of him lying in a hospital bed from dozing off at the wheel and driving over the curb and thru someone's living room then flipping the truck over their abnormaly large sofa.
Good God. Kevin. Text me damnit!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Paragraph Three
"Let us push for a time when all of this is a non issue."
A friend of mine who writes for the Dallas Examiner wrote that about gay teens in an article tonight and it hit me hard. That is exactly what we need to be fighting for, not gay rights but rights in themselves, for all people gay or straight. Those rights, those freedoms should be ours regardless, they should be a "non issue". The GLBT community should not have to stuggle any more than the home and gardening community when it comes to the rights we all share as Americans, as humans. Each of us should have the right to marry who we want to marry, live where we want to live, work where we want to work, sit where we want to sit, adopt children if we so choose, teach school, lead groups, run for office, live the way we want to live provided that it is not physically harming those around us.
Let us push for a time when all of this is a non issue.
Furthurmore, let us push for a time when one's sexuality does not determin one's personality or cultural experience in this country. Let us push for a time when straight couples and gay couples can ask for advise about their relationships from the same person. Let us push for a time when gay rights are no longer on the political ticket because they are a given, a non issue. Let us push for a time when being gay or straight no longer matters to anyone other than the person you are sleeping with.
Let us push for a time when all of this is a non issue.
Lets.
http://www.examiner.com/x-15437-Dallas-Gay-Relationships-Examiner
A friend of mine who writes for the Dallas Examiner wrote that about gay teens in an article tonight and it hit me hard. That is exactly what we need to be fighting for, not gay rights but rights in themselves, for all people gay or straight. Those rights, those freedoms should be ours regardless, they should be a "non issue". The GLBT community should not have to stuggle any more than the home and gardening community when it comes to the rights we all share as Americans, as humans. Each of us should have the right to marry who we want to marry, live where we want to live, work where we want to work, sit where we want to sit, adopt children if we so choose, teach school, lead groups, run for office, live the way we want to live provided that it is not physically harming those around us.
Let us push for a time when all of this is a non issue.
Furthurmore, let us push for a time when one's sexuality does not determin one's personality or cultural experience in this country. Let us push for a time when straight couples and gay couples can ask for advise about their relationships from the same person. Let us push for a time when gay rights are no longer on the political ticket because they are a given, a non issue. Let us push for a time when being gay or straight no longer matters to anyone other than the person you are sleeping with.
Let us push for a time when all of this is a non issue.
Lets.
http://www.examiner.com/x-15437-Dallas-Gay-Relationships-Examiner
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Paragraph Two
Arthur and I have decided to collaborate on a project combining his photography with my poetry. The idea (initially) is for each of us to come up with 10 topics for the other person who will then take photos/write poetry in relation to said topics. Then Arthur will send me the photos he took and I will write in response to those photos, in turn I will send Arthur the poetry I wrote and he will then take photos to compliment the writings. When we have them all finished we will most likely figure out some intricate way of displaying them together and then Arthur intends to bind them in a hand made book and I plan on building a blog around the entire project.
Arthur of course sent me 18 rather than 10 topics. I believe I am going to (attempt) write about all 18 and then choose 10 of those 18 to include in the project. I origonally sent Arthur only 10 topics (as we had agreed) but I have come up with 8 more so that he will have the same option to choose the 10 he prefers.
The topics Arthur sent to me are as follows:
1.Solitude
2.City Limits
3.Gaze
4.Bright Light
5.Through the Haze
6.In a Nutshell
7.Around the Clock
8.Ocean View
9.Intermittently
10.Putting on Airs
11.Blood, Sweat and Tears
12.Forgotten
13.Residual
14.Magnitude
15.Ritualistic
16.Vehemently
17.Ingrained
18.Searching
The topics I chose for Arthur are below:
1.Spiritual Warfare
2.Somewhere in the City
3.This American Life
4.In Reverse
5.Internal Dialog
6.Underworld
7.The Body is a Temple
8.Fall
9.Success
10.Justice
11.The Messenger
12.Total Loss
13.Zodiac
14.Deus Ex Machina
15.Militant
16.Bliss
17.Communication
18.Chaos
I would be much more confidant in the success of this project, the completion of this project even if I still wrote well enough to warrant a project involving poetry...We'll see how it goes.
Arthur of course sent me 18 rather than 10 topics. I believe I am going to (attempt) write about all 18 and then choose 10 of those 18 to include in the project. I origonally sent Arthur only 10 topics (as we had agreed) but I have come up with 8 more so that he will have the same option to choose the 10 he prefers.
The topics Arthur sent to me are as follows:
1.Solitude
2.City Limits
3.Gaze
4.Bright Light
5.Through the Haze
6.In a Nutshell
7.Around the Clock
8.Ocean View
9.Intermittently
10.Putting on Airs
11.Blood, Sweat and Tears
12.Forgotten
13.Residual
14.Magnitude
15.Ritualistic
16.Vehemently
17.Ingrained
18.Searching
The topics I chose for Arthur are below:
1.Spiritual Warfare
2.Somewhere in the City
3.This American Life
4.In Reverse
5.Internal Dialog
6.Underworld
7.The Body is a Temple
8.Fall
9.Success
10.Justice
11.The Messenger
12.Total Loss
13.Zodiac
14.Deus Ex Machina
15.Militant
16.Bliss
17.Communication
18.Chaos
I would be much more confidant in the success of this project, the completion of this project even if I still wrote well enough to warrant a project involving poetry...We'll see how it goes.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Paragraph one
I will stay on top of it this time.
I will blog as often as my dog growls.
Here within I will write about all the big things in my life
and bitch about all the little things, as any blogger should.
--------------
My plans have all been changed and rearranged yet again. The peace corp will be put off much longer than I originally planed...or even what I assumed in the 3rd, 4th and 5th amended plans.
My goals are adjusting, I am incorporating an additional person, making the impossible leap to meld our dreams and aspirations together to form one common mind set for the direction we want to take our lives...together. I am but one part of a we, and we are happy.
I will blog as often as my dog growls.
Here within I will write about all the big things in my life
and bitch about all the little things, as any blogger should.
--------------
My plans have all been changed and rearranged yet again. The peace corp will be put off much longer than I originally planed...or even what I assumed in the 3rd, 4th and 5th amended plans.
My goals are adjusting, I am incorporating an additional person, making the impossible leap to meld our dreams and aspirations together to form one common mind set for the direction we want to take our lives...together. I am but one part of a we, and we are happy.
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